Cannes We Not?

That is a terrible pun, and I apologize for it. Self-aware terrible jokes are awesome, though.

Anyway, the Cannes film festival is ongoing, and several people seem to be….confused. I am not okay with it.

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Billboard Music Messes

My attempts to not delay this morning were violently struck down by a storm last night and a metric ton of things to do this morning. Clearly I am bad at blogging, deadlines, and life.

Anyway, last night were the Billboard Awards. There were several badly dressed people, and since we’re also in the middle of Cannes, and Eurovision was this weekend, I found myself debating what to write about due to an overabundance of options.

But here we have some of the offenders from last night’s event.

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Can See Through Shirts Just Go Away Now Please?

Maybe I am secretly Very Old instead of just a crotchety 20-something, but I HATE this whole see-through-everything trend. It’s unnecessary and incredibly crass to go about with your underwear on display. It just seems attention-seeking and gross. It’s like those dudes who can’t seem to put a shirt on. Fun to look at, but you’re thinking, “What a dudebro.”

Anyway, here are my thoughts on the matter.

I don’t need to have on a see-through shirt to feel sexy or beautiful. I know and love my body as it is, and I feel like seeing my entire person is a limited privilege. Yes, I will change in front of my friends. Yes, I will sometimes walk around the house with no pants on. But those are, to use an older version of the word, intimate moments. My best friend’s cousin’s former roommate isn’t going to turn up and see me in my bra. My friends and N might, but that’s different than going out in public with a shirt that is a single layer of cheap chiffon.

tl;dr: Not everyone needs to see your bra.

As for what sparked my ire, we have Kim Kardashian wearing a see through shirt and a bra as though that is somehow socially acceptable.

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Dear TopShop: NO.

I always worry about high fashion shenanigans trickling their way into normal, everyday wear, and for good reason. Recently I have seen more and more people wearing see-through shirts, lace or otherwise, as though it is somehow socially acceptable (Protip: It is not.). I’ve also seen more and more overalls, which is not funny if not done ironically on Halloween while telling a story about how your life got flipped, turned upside down.

Anyway, as much as I complain about them, celebrities and their stylists are not actually the worst. What IS the worst is when normal stores, or normal-ish stores, like Topshop, H&M, or even a Target capsule collection shows something that is completely banana-pants.

TopShop, I’m looking at you and side-eyeing.

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The Great Good-God-What-Are-You-Wearing-sby

So I loved Moulin Rouge. It was a glorious, over-the-top fantasy that had the added bonus of Ewan McGregor singing.

I really enjoyed Romeo + Juliet. It felt a bitĀ irreverentĀ in regards to Shakespeare, but it was fun, over-the-top and had the added bonus of Leonardo diCaprio with boy band hair.

I have some concerns about The Great Gatsby. It’s either going to be amazing or an absolute shit-show, and I am going to watch the hell out of it either way. Why we need a Great American Novel IN THREE DEE!!! is beyond me, but that is all unrelated to my current concern, which is in regards to how badly Isla Fisher’s dress needed to have a lining on the bottom half.

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