Billboard Music Messes

My attempts to not delay this morning were violently struck down by a storm last night and a metric ton of things to do this morning. Clearly I am bad at blogging, deadlines, and life.

Anyway, last night were the Billboard Awards. There were several badly dressed people, and since we’re also in the middle of Cannes, and Eurovision was this weekend, I found myself debating what to write about due to an overabundance of options.

But here we have some of the offenders from last night’s event.

Read more of this post

BAFTA Shenanigans

As is so often the case at these sorts of events (The TV BAFTAS), there are some people who got it fantastically right, such as Helen McCrory. I suspect she was in Oscar de la Renta, which is always a good choice for these sorts of things. She looked beautiful and tasteful. Other people tried hard but ultimately looked ridiculous. These are their stories. (Law & Order Noise) Read more of this post

Met Gala Delusions Part One: The Stella Cometh

In theory, the Met Gala’s theme was “From Chaos to Couture” and it was all about the punk movement in fashion. This is vaguely legitimate, although I think it is a bit a pile of crap since punk fashion is about having nothing and making something out of it. It’s about challenging the status quo and pushing boundaries beyond what the established Fashion Houses would tell us, and while I can get behind that (though not for my personal style), it is a bit silly to the have the Met Gala themed after it. I mean, it seems completely contradictory to have Anna Wintour in custom Chanel celebrating the punk movement. Over the next several days, we’ll be appreciating the people who got it all wrong (and didn’t wear Vivienne Westwood or Givenchy).

Now, this was tough for me, because punk-influenced fashion is not something I would normally get behind, but I can also really appreciate themed dressing for such a big event. There is a time and place to go big or go home on the fashion front, and that time is definitely the Met Gala. Over the next several days we’ll be discussing those who 1) missed the theme and 2) still looked like assholes, and I will attempt to group them logically.

So, here’s a short list of who I liked before we proceed to people who were unfortunate enough to wear Stella McCartney.

-Madonna in Givenchy. She committed to the theme, and I can appreciate that.

-Miley Cyrus in Marc Jacobs for the same reason. I may be hallucinating that I typed that.

-Florence Welch in Givenchy. Clearly this is the time and place for Givenchy.

-Jennifer Lawrence for being Jennifer Lawrence (in Dior). It wasn’t punk, but it was fabulous.

-Hailee Steinfeld in adorable, age-appropriate, yet still full of safety pins Donna Karan.

-There were more, but it’s late and I can’t be bothered.

And now, the disasters.

Read more of this post

Once Upon A Time, I Forgot To Come Up With A Title

The first full week of May is glorious. The Kentucky Derby is followed immediately by the Met Gala (which is tonight, fyi. There’s a live-stream of the red carpet that I will probably be vaguely surly about missing while at work). So first we have the best hat wearing day in America followed by Fashion’s biggest night. I can hardly wait to see everyone badly dressed like punks. It should be amazing in every way.

But before we are inundated with me loudly complaining about the stupidity of five-figure punk outfits, let’s take a moment to appreciate the follies of real, normal people who have actually worn floral jumpsuits in public.

Read more of this post

Dear TopShop: NO.

I always worry about high fashion shenanigans trickling their way into normal, everyday wear, and for good reason. Recently I have seen more and more people wearing see-through shirts, lace or otherwise, as though it is somehow socially acceptable (Protip: It is not.). I’ve also seen more and more overalls, which is not funny if not done ironically on Halloween while telling a story about how your life got flipped, turned upside down.

Anyway, as much as I complain about them, celebrities and their stylists are not actually the worst. What IS the worst is when normal stores, or normal-ish stores, like Topshop, H&M, or even a Target capsule collection shows something that is completely banana-pants.

TopShop, I’m looking at you and side-eyeing.

Read more of this post