An Atrocious Leggings Trifecta

I’ve been getting a higher than usual number of comments recently suggesting that my Leggings Are Not Pants belief is born of jealousy and size instead of faith in fabrics other than spandex.

Let me just clarify that here and now. I do not think that leggings are pants because they are not pants (holy tautology, Batman). They are workout gear, or something to be worn under a dress or a tunic. They are not actual pants. If something being worn as pants is so skintight you have a camel toe, they are not pants. Also, I don’t care if you are a size 2 or 32, people probably don’t actually WANT to be able to guess your measurements. And I’m going to expand that statement out–any leg covering clothing solution that is so skin-tight you get a camel toe is not a good decision.

All of this can be backed up by the following picture of three girls all wearing leggings as pants and all looking ridiculous.

When I Think Wedding Dress, I Do Not Think Toilet Paper

The first time I ever heard the words “toilet paper” regarding a wedding dress was a few years ago and in the form of a complaint, right around the time when frothy organza ruffles were first starting to be really in. There was one that had these really interesting long lines of organza that I REALLY liked and my coworker at the time REALLY did not. I said it was interesting and in-the-moment, she said it looked like toilet paper.

But now, thanks to things like Project Runway and do-it-yourself! projects of the sort, we now have an actual wedding dress made from actual toilet paper. I am distressed, and I really, really wish it looked more like what my coworker was complaining about.

Cannes We Not?

That is a terrible pun, and I apologize for it. Self-aware terrible jokes are awesome, though.

Anyway, the Cannes film festival is ongoing, and several people seem to be….confused. I am not okay with it.

Billboard Music Messes

My attempts to not delay this morning were violently struck down by a storm last night and a metric ton of things to do this morning. Clearly I am bad at blogging, deadlines, and life.

Anyway, last night were the Billboard Awards. There were several badly dressed people, and since we’re also in the middle of Cannes, and Eurovision was this weekend, I found myself debating what to write about due to an overabundance of options.

But here we have some of the offenders from last night’s event.

Cannes Shenanigans

It should be noted that due to summer-related laziness, every blog post this week has been late. I feel bad about this and resolve to start afresh next week.

What I do not feel bad about is the fact that it’s the Cannes Film Festival, and so far people are mostly dressing well. Nicole Kidman, as one of the jurors, has looked particularly excellent, and while Carey Mulligan DID wear an oddly textured Alexander Wang jumpsuit, the timing was such that I didn’t blog about it.

But as we get into the festival, I now have some things to complain about. We start off with Clotilde, Princess of Venice (that’s a thing?), who has taken a far too literal inspiration from her city’s aquatic roots.