Billboard Music Messes

My attempts to not delay this morning were violently struck down by a storm last night and a metric ton of things to do this morning. Clearly I am bad at blogging, deadlines, and life.

Anyway, last night were the Billboard Awards. There were several badly dressed people, and since we’re also in the middle of Cannes, and Eurovision was this weekend, I found myself debating what to write about due to an overabundance of options.

But here we have some of the offenders from last night’s event.

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BAFTA Shenanigans

As is so often the case at these sorts of events (The TV BAFTAS), there are some people who got it fantastically right, such as Helen McCrory. I suspect she was in Oscar de la Renta, which is always a good choice for these sorts of things. She looked beautiful and tasteful. Other people tried hard but ultimately looked ridiculous. These are their stories. (Law & Order Noise) Read more of this post

Is This A Nightgown Or A Dress?

Sometimes, with that whole sheer lace thing being stylish, certain problems arise. These problems are even more absurd when the dress is shaped like a nightgown with a gigantic slit up the center.

Center slits are awkward anyway, since I would estimate that 90% of people wearing a dress with one come distressingly close to flashing the universe. This one comes distressingly close to flashing the universe, AND the lace is mostly see-through. I’m not okay with that, and I am also very over the sheer lace trend. It’s been done too much and by too many. Can’t we move on, Fashion World?

Anyway, here is Faith Hill at the American Country Music Awards, nearly flashing the world in a Chado Ralph Rucci (WHO? I have a vicious headache and so cannot be bothered to google it.) dress/nightgown.

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Could This Color Wash Zooey Deschanel Out More?

The answer is no, by the way.

But we’ll get to that.

This is Oscars Day Three, and I apologize in advance because my brain feels like mush. I very nearly had E write this post for me, but I decided to man up and write it anyway.

Anyway, it’s not really a secret that I’ve been pretty underwhelmed by recent Valentino, mostly because the master is no longer running the show and someone else thinks that the house that was once responsible for some of the most glorious couture to come out of Milan needs to make dresses that are somehow either frumpy, uncomfortably nude, or oddly both at once.

This would only be frumpy, but since the dress is the exact same color as her skin, it wins an “oddly both at once.”

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Going To An Oscars After Party? Better Dress Like An Idiot.

The good news is that the Oscars don’t stop when the curtain falls. Oh no. There are after parties, and I had no intention of staying up late enough on Sunday night to blog about them for Monday. That means that we get two Oscar posts: one for the important, badly dressed people who were there, and one for everyone who went to the after-parties.

The bad–or good, if you’re me–news is that while the Oscars themselves had some excellent dresses, the after-parties had some seriously questionable decision making.

Brace for impact, this post is going to be LONG.

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