When I Think Wedding Dress, I Do Not Think Toilet Paper

The first time I ever heard the words “toilet paper” regarding a wedding dress was a few years ago and in the form of a complaint, right around the time when frothy organza ruffles were first starting to be really in. There was one that had these really interesting long lines of organza that I REALLY liked and my coworker at the time REALLY did not. I said it was interesting and in-the-moment, she said it looked like toilet paper.

But now, thanks to things like Project Runway and do-it-yourself! projects of the sort, we now have an actual wedding dress made from actual toilet paper. I am distressed, and I really, really wish it looked more like what my coworker was complaining about.

I can't decide what I hate the most about this.

I can’t decide what I hate the most about this.

If I had to pinpoint what is making me rage about this, it would be the following:

-The use of color. When I see red, and I know the fabric is TP, I have bigger concerns. Of all the colors in all the color wheels in all the world, and she chooses that one. Good job. Her vaguely period dress is making me think of having a period.

-The accessories. A fan and a top hat? Really? Are you at Royal Ascot? No? Get rid of them. (Side note: I cannot wait for Royal Ascot. It is my favorite week of the year.)

-The fuzzy boobs. Once again, I understand that this is made from toilet paper, but she has (somewhat) successfully made a full skirt and a basque waist without resorting to fuzz. Why are her boobs just solid TP rosettes? It is not cute or interesting, it is just fuzzy boobs. That sounds like a side-effect to something, not a wedding dress.

-The fact that it’s toilet paper. Life is not like Project Runway; you do not get more points for using non-traditional fabrics. You just have a toilet paper dress. Also, that bridal shower game is the WORST.

Can’t we just wear dresses made of fabric? I mean, I’m not saying everyone has to go get a big taffeta monstrosity. I thought it was cool that Helen Hunt wore that eco friendly fabric H&M dress to the Oscars. But leave the toilet paper to the bathroom and the awkward bridal showers, and keep it away from the wedding dress.

About badfads
Anonymous 20-something, full of opinions about what you're wearing.

4 Responses to When I Think Wedding Dress, I Do Not Think Toilet Paper

  1. Michael says:

    Like the “side-effects” phrasing, very nice.

  2. AnnaBtG says:

    And yet I can’t help but be in awe of the fact that she made a whole wedding dress out of toilet paper.

  3. I’m awed by the fact that she made anything that polished out of toilet paper. Could you do that? I couldn’t. Wow.

  4. Maggie O'C says:

    She looks like a clown. Like a clown on the verge of tap dancing or singing Mammy or something like that.


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