Once Upon A Time, I Forgot To Come Up With A Title

The first full week of May is glorious. The Kentucky Derby is followed immediately by the Met Gala (which is tonight, fyi. There’s a live-stream of the red carpet that I will probably be vaguely surly about missing while at work). So first we have the best hat wearing day in America followed by Fashion’s biggest night. I can hardly wait to see everyone badly dressed like punks. It should be amazing in every way.

But before we are inundated with me loudly complaining about the stupidity of five-figure punk outfits, let’s take a moment to appreciate the follies of real, normal people who have actually worn floral jumpsuits in public.

Note that the floral nonsense starts at the top and just keeps going.

Note that the floral nonsense starts at the top and just keeps going.

First of all, NO. If you’re going to wear a jumpsuit, which I never recommend, it should at least not be in a print that resembles someone’s grandmother’s wallpaper in 1955. Also, I am reliably informed that this was worn with an atrocious brown belt. I can see where it would need a belt (not that the jumpsuit needs anything, really, except a good incinerating), but a thick, nasty brown one? Amid all that bright, crazy floral pattern? No, thank you. I think it’d make it look even more awkward, which I’m not sure is possible.

The last thing we need to talk about is situational appropriateness. This was taken on a long-distance bus trip. Being well-versed myself in the art of the miserably long bus trip and more specifically the horror that is the toilet, I feel like an outfit that basically has to be taken all the way off and spends quality time on the floor of the bathroom is definitely NOT the answer. But because I am weird, I always look at jumpsuits and am baffled by the logistics of 1) getting into them (do you have to do a crazy zipper dance?) and 2) getting out of them for things like, oh, using the bathroom.

I’ll let you think about that.

Enjoy your Monday and I’ll see you tomorrow for Met Gala coverage.

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About badfads
Anonymous 20-something, full of opinions about what you're wearing.

6 Responses to Once Upon A Time, I Forgot To Come Up With A Title

  1. Maggie O'C says:

    I can’t see it!

  2. Maggie O'C says:

    I probably would have been better off not seeing that.

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