Dear TopShop: NO.

I always worry about high fashion shenanigans trickling their way into normal, everyday wear, and for good reason. Recently I have seen more and more people wearing see-through shirts, lace or otherwise, as though it is somehow socially acceptable (Protip: It is not.). I’ve also seen more and more overalls, which is not funny if not done ironically on Halloween while telling a story about how your life got flipped, turned upside down.

Anyway, as much as I complain about them, celebrities and their stylists are not actually the worst. What IS the worst is when normal stores, or normal-ish stores, like Topshop, H&M, or even a Target capsule collection shows something that is completely banana-pants.

TopShop, I’m looking at you and side-eyeing.

The only good news is that that’s a skirt, not harem pants. The bad news is that it still mostly looks like harem pants.

I’m trying to think of a redeeming factor of that skirt, but I really can’t. Maybe I am being too harsh and possibly obnoxious with this, but it makes me think of a designer-ish version of Aladdin’s outfit. That is not a good thing.

Then we had these two girls, both of whom are making serious sartorial missteps.

See through shirt with gym shorts and leather boots and then skin-tight camel toe leggings. What are they and therefore TopShop actually thinking with this?

If your pants have you on a one-way train to camel toe city, you’re not wearing pants; you’re wearing leggings and you need to get it together.

I also have serious problems with 1) the see-through shirt, and 2) the decision to wear a see-through shirt with a black bra. If your shirt has opacity issues, wear nude undergarments or LAYERS. Also, gym shorts? Really? With awkward leather ankle boots or whatever those are? I don’t get it, and if I see anyone in the real world wearing these things I will be a whirlwind of judgment.

And then last but not least, we have unironic overalls, proving that my snark the other day at work about them being SOOOOOO IN was tragically accurate.

Seriously. The 1990’s were awkward enough the first time around. I remember them. We do not need to start crimping our hair and listening to N*SYNC.

I almost said that we do not need to listen to the Spice Girls, but that is obviously untrue, since Wannabe may be one of the greatest ever morning songs, alongside Wake Me Up Before You Go Go by Wham! and George Michael’s Faith.

I think my morning playlist needs some help.

But more importantly, so does whoever that is in those unfortunate overalls. If you have overalls, just throw them away right now. I don’t care if Vogue is telling you you’re cool with them on, in five years you’ll be sighing to yourself saying, “What was I thinking?! L was right; I looked ridiculous in those overalls. Too bad there are now pictures of me wearing dungarees like a five year old in the 90’s all over Facebook.”

(Photo Credit: JustJared)