Newsflash: Stella McCartney Is Clearly Losing It

Before I get into the meaty goodness of this post (and there is some hot nonsense to talk about), I just want to talk a little about how I write these.  Usually the night before, I go hunting for my disaster of the day either online or in my inbox, since my posts go up at eight a.m. At eight a.m., I prefer to be doing other things, such as my personal favorite: sleeping.

Today, I woke up early just for this.

We’re on the tail end of the Fashion Week parade, which I will probably attempt to recap sometime this week. It’s the final few days in Paris, and bright and early this morning, my favorite designer in the world (to make fun of) showed her fall collection.

It did not disappoint.

As always, my problem is that none of this gets further translated into an actually ready-to-wear line, and since her last name is “McCartney” and she’s friends with/has bribed (probably???) half the A-list, it’ll mostly get worn.

This will probably be worn non-stop by Kim Kardashian. It’s unflattering and has a weird maternity peplum.

Except the model isn’t pregnant, and this isn’t a maternity line.

That is a perfect shirt to wear if you want people to ask when you’re due.

Then we got a series of horrendously bad, over-sized silhouettes (which I think I’ve been complaining about for the entire year I’ve been blogging).

This, unfortunately, was to be a recurring silhouette in the show. I cannot imagine anyone wearing that. Rihanna probably will.

I also am beyond confused by those awkward, clunky shoes. Kate Upton will buy five pairs.

This is confusing to me because of the preposterously huge coat and the weirdly see-through sweater. It’s not see-through at the collar or the hem, just the middle. Shouldn’t it be the other way around??

This makes her head look like it shrunk. Is that a new thing in fashion? We can only lose so much weight on our faces so now we have to visually imitate having a tiny head, too? I thought the teeny little Skinny Minnies liked looking like bobble-head dolls.

Speaking of weird,

This combines two of my least favorite things: massively unflattering giant bag silhouettes and elastic waistbands.

I’m also not sure if they’re a skirt or pants at the bottom. I’m not sure if it matters, really, since it’s this awful to begin with, but this is seriously one of the most awkward but legitimately “ready-to-wear” looks I’ve seen. Vogue will probably single this look out as the best.

That or this one, which is the same but with 100% more awkward sheer stripes.

Still awkward, still not sure if it’s a dress or the weirdest onesie in the world.

There were other looks, some almost wearable, some just weird. Anyway, I couldn’t resist. Have a good Monday.

(Photo Credits: Style.com)

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About badfads
Anonymous 20-something, full of opinions about what you're wearing.

15 Responses to Newsflash: Stella McCartney Is Clearly Losing It

  1. AnnaBtG says:

    Wow, the third one is really horrendous. Same as the last two weird dress-things.

  2. Pingback: Stella McCartney Fall 2013 | Lux Life By NY Shoe Diva

  3. my hauteline says:

    I agree with every statement you made. Frumpy and very unflattering.

  4. Maggie O'C says:

    I read this just before I read your blog. I wanted to see what a different perspective sounded like. http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2287912/Pinstripes-boxy-shapes-plenty-volume-Stella-McCartneys-Paris-Fashion-Week-show.html?ito=feeds-newsxml

    Why do they not mention the odd platform orthopedic shoes??

    • badfads says:

      I don’t know, but they loved the purple dress with the waistband below the knees, so I’m going to go ahead and point and laugh at the Daily Mail.

      I have nothing good to say about those shoes.

  5. Was this collection inspired by fish? Every model has ended up looking like a fish. The inspiration must be fish — that is the only explanation.

    • badfads says:

      It is a seriously fishy collection, in more ways than one.
      I feel like piscine inspiration should only be used by Alberta Ferretti. I loved her S/S collection, even if it was a bit unnecessarily see-through. But she’ll have the decency to line a gown before it ends up on the red carpet.

      • Yes! THAT is what I call a well-balanced collection of aquatic garments (I do enjoy unnecessarily see-through clothes though, but only when… necessary) The black, one-shouldered chiffon gown would look gorgeous on some lucky celeb, in a slightly more, eh, opaque, material…

  6. bubblymel says:

    Oh God that is awful!! I’m sure Stella’s Drug dealer is doing great though!

  7. Those clunky shoes make me think of the ones my gran’s cleaning lady wears. Tsss.

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