To Quote Mean Girls, That Vest Is Disgusting

So, girl wearing a faux fur vest, you can’t sit with us.

I mean, she wasn’t anyway, she was just in the same somewhat questionable bar, but even so. Faux fur vests are always a terrible idea that I usually associate with the Kardashians.

Here’s the thing. ¬†Faux fur vests are the sort of outerwear that just don’t make much sense to me. I get giant coats, I get fur lined giant coats, and I even get fur coats. I saw someone in Target the other day in an ankle length fur coat and I was impressed at her unusual decision-making. But there’s not a whole lot of logic to them, and they make anyone wearing one look oddly bulky through the chest, shoulders and waist.

But seriously. Why just a vest? Why not a coat? Why not a lining? I don’t get it.

And I don’t get this outfit.

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If Your Leggings Have A Zipper, You’re Doing It Wrong

I apologize for yesterday’s somewhat underwhelming post. I was on deadline and very, very tired. I’m still very, very tired, but I am writing this with 100% more coffee behind me as well as more crankiness. That may seem like a bad thing. It may well be.

Anyway, I have a well-established hatred of leggings-as-pants, mostly because for the millionth time, leggings are not pants (this does not include leggings worn under dresses or skirts. But if opacity is a concern, they’re not pants, damnit.).

Also bad, though, is the addition of random zippers and accessories to leggings. Also, zippers on the back may make less than no sense on any kind of pants.

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Leopard Pants And Hazardous Shoes

First of all, leopard pants are horrendous in every single conceivable circumstance. I cannot think of a single every day instance where wearing leopard pants makes any kind of sense.

It must be said, I’m also pretty sure the pants in question are not actually pants, but atrocious leggings, which is basically a tragedy. It is not cute to have fake leopard all over your body, just like (SHOCKER!) it is not actually cute to wear those floral pants from H&M or wherever, because it’s busy and weird looking.

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Rita Ora Is Tired….Tired Of Playing The Game…

Ain’t it a friggin’ shame…she’s so…tiiiiiiiiiiiiiiired?

 

If you DIDN’T sing all of that badly in a terrible German accent, 1) you will probably never understand my sense of humor, and 2) go watch Blazing Saddles right now. No. Like now. Do it. Yes, it’s old, but it is amazing. Now stop reading this and go watch it.

Anyway, looking like an 1890’s showgirl or brothel worker in a romance novel is probably not the best look period unless it is Halloween. On Halloween, it is socially acceptable to dress like pretty much anything, up to and including most professions with the word “Slutty” in front of them.

But it is not Halloween. It is a random day in March and therefore cannot be confused for Halloween.

This was also taken at an event for the Princess Grace Foundation in Monaco and Karl Lagerfeld was hanging out, as was Cara Delvingne, who looked like she got stuck somewhere in the middle of turning into a swan in Chanel Haute Couture. But as with anything with Rita Ora, she will overshadow everyone else with her one-way ticket to “uhhhh….WHAT?”

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It May Seem Innocuous, But….

This is very nearly a stereotypical flasher look, but with pantyhose instead of Creepy Guy On The Subway or Street Corner. It is also baffling, given the apparently frigid weather conditions. I am reliably informed that there was two feet of snow on the ground, which is already not the time to go out wearing pantyhose unless you absolutely have to. Even so, I will go for a thick pair of tights and boots if I have to wear a dress when it’s snowing and minus 1000 out.

Although it must be said, usually when it’s minus 1000 and snowing, I usually prefer to stay inside being as spectacularly frumpy as possible and not outside flashing innocent bakery goers with my questionably shod boyfriend.

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